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swtangeldreamz8
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read my profile
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Name: joy.
Birthday: 9/18/1989
Interests: God, family, pbs, lowt love
Expertise: loser :].
Occupation: College student
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/11/2003
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| i hate that this is my 3rd recent post about death...
R.I.P. jeriel huang
this one hit closer to home. i`ve gone to church with jeriel for the past what, 7 years? he was always a good guy... maybe a little rowdy sometimes, but so full of energy and always with a smile on his face. even throughout his fight against cancer, he kept a positive attitude, and i greatly admire him for that. it seems to me that it`s always the good people who leave us... and recently, what i find especially unfair-- a trend of young people dying before their times should come. but really, who are we to say when it is or isn`t time for someone to leave for the Kingdom? i`m just glad he is in God`s hands now, where he can find happiness and rest. we miss you jeriel!
<3 J0Y.
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| happy 20th bday, sis!
haven`t posted in a while... i guess you can say recently i`ve been in a time-to-reevaluate-my-life kind of mood. thinking about what i`ve achieved in the past, what i am achieving now, and what i hope to achieve in the future... i`ve lead a happy life for 20 years, but there are many things that i haven`t achieved yet that i wish i had by this point in my life.
for one thing, i`ve been thinking more seriously about what kind of work i specifically want to do... with a bachelor's of science in environmental design in a few years, what kinds of jobs can i be hired for? what kinds of design projects do i want in on? i`ve found that i`m very interested in concept design... sometimes more than the designing itself, i love to create the narrative, the emotion, the mood, and the program for spaces. this term we`re doing exhibit design, which is a lot smaller-scale than past projects, and we are able to focus on more details of the experience itself. i`m really loving it.
and i so love graphic design. so much that i kind of wish i had entered art center as a graphics major, and now i`m torn between two majors. anyway, currently taking typography 3 which i greatly enjoy... was actually considering switching or double-majoring for the past few months, but i think i`ll just take graphics classes as i please and continue with environmental design. when i graduate and look for work, i`ll have some graphics background in my portfolio to show.
i think i want a job. don`t know if i can find time to do it, but i want one. i was nominated to represent art center in a design storm, and i loved the professionalism of it all. we had a very real all-day meeting with clients from Germany. it was a great experience and i am looking forward to my first real job as a designer... even if it`s just an internship.
i want more fun. i believe that art center is completely manageable (okay, sometimes) as long as time is used wisely. there should be plenty of time for a "college life" outside the hillside campus.
i want more sponteneity. less thinking, more doing.
so i`m looking out for opportunities to grab.
my current obsessions:
franz ferdinand stage. i love them catchy beats.
layering outfits. it`s actually getting a bit chilly and it looks so good.
angles/facets. for design.. i`m usually more into the organic/curvy, but this term i`m all about sharp lines and angles.
boots. okay, so i`ve always loved them. but i`m happiest on days i wear my skinnies and boots.
eye makeup. especially mascara and bright eyeshadows. don`t know how i ever lived without them before.
so apparently ponchos, furry vests, and combat boots are "in" now? i do not approve. the only ponchos i find acceptable are the ones you wear while visiting niagra falls. and i`d only wear that much fur if for a halloween costume. and this isn`t boot camp (haha). i`d rather be outdated, thanks.
wow a much longer post than i intended.
<3 J0Y.
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| war movies ♥.
there is something so romantic about the idea that you may never see each other again... the idea that if you don`t say it now, you may never get the chance again... the fact that everything you have is at stake. of course with war comes death and tragedy, but for the cinema screen, at least, war is wonderful. movie night-- rented the edge of love, and i loved it. besides the fact that i am a huge keira knightley fan, the storyline was intriguing, the characters believable, and the quotes clever and memorable.
"live while you can, live all you can."
“first love is alright, as far as it goes. last love – that’s the one i’m interested in.”
<3 J0Y.
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| life is shorter than we plan for...
yesterday one of my friend`s friends passed away... i never knew her so i can`t truly feel the pain, but it was a kind of wake-up call for me. maybe the reason terrible things happen is to warn the living to avoid other terrible things in the future. the death was drunk driving related... i absolutely hate that. when lives are taken away from accidents, from warfare, from natural disasters, from old age... i have a certain acceptance of them because they are events that are out of our control... events that cannot be avoided. but for drunk-driving deaths, there are no excuses. alcohol can drive people mad. people are so out of control... sure it`s great when they say stupid things, when they get crazier on the dance floor, when they throw fits, when they stumble and fall over, when their egos skyrocket. but tell me is it worth it, when in exchange for some wild fun for a few hours, you live the rest of your life with the burden and guilt that you killed someone? people say they cannot take responsiblity for their drunk actions, but you should and will be held responsible, whether or not there is a bottle in your hands. a promise that i will keep my whole life...
i will not drink and drive.
<3 J0Y.
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| no regrets.
is it strange (or cocky) to say that i was inspired by something i wrote myself? i reorganized my closet the other day, and fished out some things that i haven`t seen in a long time... it`s always amusing, i think, to read back on things i wrote in the past. sometimes i read and remember-- and all the memories and emotions rush back for a moment. and other times, i read and feel nothing-- and i just laugh at the pitiful thoughts i used to think. one entry in particular, i found empowering... i won`t bore anyone with the details [maybe i`ll include a few excerpts later], but basically i had reflected on all of the things in high school that i determined to be my greatest obstacles and regrets... the key things i`ve always wanted to do-over. i faced the fact that every time i placed the blame on someone, something, or fate, when all along the blame should`ve been my own. then i realized that all of these things added up and convinced me to change my outlook in life and change who i was. i am so confident and open now that i often can`t believe i`m the girl who used to hide what i truly thought/felt just because i was scared of what other people would think of me. i`m now always one of the most talkative people in all my classes, speaking my mind and opinion freely. i`m not scared to confront people when necessary, and make it clear that i won`t go down without a fight. i`m not afraid to branch out and talk to unfamiliar faces, meet new people. and i realized that even if i could go back in time and do it all over, i wouldn`t want to at all.
every step and misstep i took led me to wear i stand today. i have no regrets.
J0Y.
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